How to prepare

If your parent doesn’t live with you and you need to provide in-house care, make sure you know where all the bank, cash, jewelry, or other valuables are located. Take an inventory and then make sure the valuables are removed for safekeeping.

Make a copy of everything in their wallets. Make sure you know the placement of all keys, bankbooks, stock certificates, insurance policies, and other legal documents, such as wills, durable power of attorney,
health care proxies.

Know names and phone numbers of all caregivers, service providers, attorneys, accountants, health care professionals, and physicians.

Assisted Living Federation of America (www.alfa.com) sent an email update today reporting that seniors with possibly untreated or undertreated vison problems may have a greater chance of developing dementia. (See their website for more information)

It seems apparant to me that regular checkups as the population ages will have a beneficial effect as they get older. In particular, it is important to carefully examine seniors who reside in facilities such as assisted living residences and nursing homes.

Dov:
When my father was living at home with a full time aid he would walk the halls in the middle of the night. Neighbors (there were eight apartments on the floor in a cooperative building in Queens, New York) would complain because he made noise etc.

We changed the lock on the door so that a key was needed to exit; that didn’t work because it upset him and could not be managed.

Eventually, he had to move to a nursing home where he was attended to by better trained staff, who know how to communicate better. With medication and a trained staff he was more social and his life was more fulfilled.

it has occurred to me that there is a large population in their 30s and 40s who are becoming sensitive to the new role their parents have as caregivers for their parents. This younger population is becoming educated in senior care concerns. Perhaps younger generations will be better prepared to assist their parents, the existing caregivers, as they age.

I contacted Linda Ellis on facebook regarding her poem “The Dash”; she is an author, speaker and poet, and she replied:

“Hi Marty, thank you for your post. I’m glad The Dash has helped you in some way. Please feel free to share the following link to the poem on your site for your visitors to read: http://www.lindaellis.net/Read_The_Dash.htm”

I recommend this to all who are caregivers, family etc. for someone who is elderly.

When it comes time to make the decisions of care for a loved one. who is near the end of life, and it is certain that there is no likely cure, what becomes important is to assure as much comfort as possible. The care given is palliative care.

Keep in mind as a caregiver, assumming that you are the health care proxy, guardian or you are close relative or friend, it remains important to eat well, sleep sufficiently, and exercise to maintain your ability to think straight. Therapy and/or pastoral advice is probably a good idea as well.

As a caregiver, such as a son or daughter, it is most important to be able to recognize and acknowledge that you, as well as your parent, are going through a transitionary period. Speak about your feelings and the thought of added responsibility and eventual loss is difficult to integrate. Talking to a spouse, a clergyman, a therapist may be helpful.

It is of the utmost importance for the caregivers, who are charged with the well being of a parent to make sure that they take care of themselves: eat right, exercise, get enough sleep etc.

In order to be able to think clearly and make the right decisions, caregivers must be in a phycial and emotional condition for the proper care to be given.

It is important to assist your parents as they get older. Do you have a health care proxy, a durable power of attorney, a living will that provides for a DNR and/or DNI…have you discussed what their thoughts are when it becomes necessary to make important end of life decisions?

This is written so that logistical decisions can be made when everyone can think clearly and the emotional stress of a critical condition does not impair your judgement.

What are some of the every day concerns that may arise as a parent gets older. Are there convenient shops for food and every day necessities? Are there close friends or neighbors who have access to the house or apartment?

As baby boomers are aging (born betwen 1946 and 1964) so are their parents. It makes sense to be prepared in advance of an emergency situation in order to reduce the stress that often comes at 3 o’clock in the morning.