It is important to assist your parents as they get older. Do you have a health care proxy, a durable power of attorney, a living will that provides for a DNR and/or DNI…have you discussed what their thoughts are when it becomes necessary to make important end of life decisions?
This is written so that logistical decisions can be made when everyone can think clearly and the emotional stress of a critical condition does not impair your judgement.
What are some of the every day concerns that may arise as a parent gets older. Are there convenient shops for food and every day necessities? Are there close friends or neighbors who have access to the house or apartment?
As baby boomers are aging (born betwen 1946 and 1964) so are their parents. It makes sense to be prepared in advance of an emergency situation in order to reduce the stress that often comes at 3 o’clock in the morning.
Martin I. Saposnick
just a small note regarding my experience with changes in the apartment:
we had to remove a bolt from the door to make sure we will be able to enter my inlaw at any time, but then we feared she might walk out without the caretaker noticing it.
so – I installeds a remote chime in the caretaker room, so that whenever the door opend it chimes continously.
another poit – we replaced the toilet door with another which opens outside, to make sure it will not be stuck in an emergency.
It starts with “the phone call”
Ever since I got that “phone call” from my brother saying, “dad is on the floor” my life has changed, since it has become clear that my father’s life has changed. I started to worry about how can I help: first with the immediate emergency….. the first of the acute episodes that occur in a chronic situation, then with all the related areas that have to be addressed. These emergency calls usually come at 3:00 am.
What must I now focus on:
Has health care coverage been addressed?
How will my family transition to the next stages of life?
How is safety assured?
How does the living arrangement change?
Should we hire a home health care aide & how do we find one that’s reliable and affordable?
How does my father live in a safe enviroment that can make me feel comfortable that he’s not in danger?
What kind of changes must be made to the cooperative apartment that he lives in with my brother?
What has to be considered for him to live back at home?
My brother has been diagnosed as bi-polar with some Parkinsonian syndrome. Consequently there was much to consider when it became clear that they could not live together in there present apartment and take care of their activities of daily living. M
Decisions Decisions who gets to make the final decisions.
In our society of legalities paper decisions have to be finalized and filed with appropriate authorities.
Better to do this procedure while the parties are competent and their not your wishes can be fulfilled.
Physically hospice has become a popular exit. No fuss no muss no tubes no plug in plug out routine. It should be
quietly and hopefully at home where one is most comfortable.
However after just going through three weeks of helping someone exit I will tell you it is not easy. The stress and emotional roller coaster ride can be quiet taxing to say the lease.
I recommend reading, “The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying” by Sogyal Rinpoche. If you plan on being there on a continual bases until the end. It is Very well thought out and easy read almost like a travel guide to the here-after.
Explains what to expect and what to do to really help the person pass on to the final conclusion.
The Tibetans have made the art of dying understandable as they prepare for it daily. Unlike the western culture who hides and pretends it can’t happen to me. But it does and it will. Both the person dying and those who will grieve have to prepare themselves spiritually. This Book will help you no matter what your beliefs as long as you read it with an open mind.
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